Welcome back to my blog,
I have been deep in the healing journey as I always am, and I feel compelled to share some of learnings of my inner work over the past few months.
Since the end of January, my spirit has been shedding a thick skin and building a new backbone. This past Lunar Blood Moon Eclipse in Sagittarius was the climax of this process for me.
I have carried so much shame around my years of life from 19-26. It was a heavy and complicated period of time in my soul’s journey, so I didn’t even want to look at it honestly. I would always say “oh I don’t know why I stayed in that toxic relationship for so long” and I would always feel a way when people asked me why I did. I was afraid to fully admit that staying in a toxic relationship meant that I myself was toxic😣
Well over the past few months, Moon, Universe, ancestors, angels and the GOD in ME have been illuminating what needs to be looked at. I had many deep shadows that needed light on them, so that I could process my experiences fully and come to a place of Acceptance.
But accepting what exactly?
Accepting that I attracted an ex-partner who has narcissistic personality disorder because of my own narcissistic qualities
Accepting that at the core of these narcissistic qualities is: low self esteem, insecurity, low self worth and deep rooted unhealed pains.
Accepting that during the period of my life from 19-26, I had no backbone because of of the way these qualities expressed themselves and therefore I made decisions from a fear-based/low self esteem perspective
Accepting that the love bombing worked on me because I was not giving myself the love and grounding I needed for myself and accepting that I did not know how to at that time
Accepting that even though my intuition was nudging me to create more with my life, I just would not listen.
For so long I would speak about my upbringing and the violence in my childhood home as the reason for me staying in the relationship. Then a few years ago, when I discovered what NPD is and also discovered that I am an Empath, I would blame my situation on those factors.
But you know what I never did? I never TOOK RESPONSIBILITY for my actions. What caused me to be fearful and have doubt? What caused me to stay when my gut was saying to go?
This past Lunar Eclipse, I was guided and supported to take responsibility for my life. All that I see before me in my life that I HAVE CREATED. The GOD in ME reminded me that I can look at it all directly and find the answers to the “why”. When we truly look, we find. And when we find, we can accept and keep growing to the next phase of our soul and spirit.
That’s what this Faerie Life is all about 🧚🏾♂️
Taking responsibility for all of my decisions and backing myself up, empowers me to stand in my truth, and be my truth, without shame. Honestly accepting all that is and all that I am. Taking responsibility takes a load off!!!
So during this powerful Full Moon, I released the burden of blame and replaced that with taking responsibility for MY choices in MY life.
And now I am flapping my wings stronger than ever before.....and this is just the beginning 🌸🌸🌸
New skin, Bigger Wings, and Stronger Backbone 🔥
I feel FREE
I am FREE
I give thanks
and now its time to continue the journey and
Dream (call in vision)
Create (take steps and actions toward the vision)
Manifest (reap the benefit of results created)
and BIG LOVE
your local faerie
Jaz Fairy J
photography by: @visualeulogy